


Good morning, player number one

by notallballs (notallbees)



Category: Haikyuu!!, The Stanley Parable
Genre: Challenge: Sports Anime Shipping Olympics | SASO 2017, Crack, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs
Summary: This is the story of a man named Ushiwaka.AThe Stanley Parablecrossover, featuring Ushijima as Stanley, and Oikawa as The Narrator. No, it doesn't make much sense, even if you've played the game.





	Good morning, player number one

**Author's Note:**

> [Fill for Team Bokuroo on SASO](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/21522.html?thread=10209554#cmt10209554)

This is the story of a man named Ushiwaka.

Ushiwaka-chan was part a volleyball team in a big school, where he was player number one. Player number one's job was simple: he ran, he jumped, and he spiked balls when they were tossed to him. An idiot could have done it, and in this case, they did. 

This is what player number one did every day of every month of every year, and although others might have considered it rather strenuous, Ushiwaka relished every moment on the court, as though he had been made exactly for this position. 

And Ushiwaka-chan was happy.

And then one day something very peculiar happened; something that would forever change Ushiwaka. Which, if you ask me, could only be a good thing. He had been practicing serves for nearly an hour when he realised that not one single ball had been picked up. No-one had shown up to order a round of suicide sprints, or toss a ball to him, or even say 'hi', though I can't imagine why you'd want to have a conversation with that gorilla. Never in all his years playing volleyball had this happened, this complete isolation. 

Something was very clearly wrong. Mildly surprised, Ushiwaka stood there like a moron for an absurdly long time, because he apparently didn't possess the common sense to get up and go outside. At last, he crossed the gym, and stepped out.

 

All of his teammates were gone. What could it mean?

Ushiwaka decided to go to the clubroom. Perhaps he had simply missed an instruction to stop practicing, which wouldn't surprise me. That self-centered dolt only hears what he wants to hear. 

No matter how hard Ushiwaka looked, he couldn't find a trace of his coworkers. It was amazing, in fact, watching him search beneath benches and in plant pots, as though any of those hulking monstrosities he called teammates could be concealed so easily.

When Ushiwaka came to a set of two open doors in a hallway, he entered the door on his left. 

 

Unbelievably, however, Ushiwaka-chan chose to disregard all reason and sense, and entered the door on the right, knowing full well that it would not lead him to the clubroom. Perhaps he wanted to stop by the courtyard first to admire its splendour.

Ah, yes, truly a space worth the effort of taking such a pointless detour. How thoughtful of Ushiwaka to ignore his useful instincts and venture to the courtyard instead. As if to prove his point, he stood there for several moments, admiring how exquisitely formed the space was. Yes. What a worthwhile use of his time. All his teammates had up and vanished, and Ushiwaka-chan simply stood there, staring around gormlessly at the neatly-cut grass, the benches with the peeling paint, the drinks machine. It made you want to give him a round of applause, or a slap on the back. What a guy. 

At this point, his obsession with the dull courtyard was starting to verge on creepy. It really wasn't any wonder that his teammates had abandoned him. Ushiwaka-chan continued to stand around, hoping for more dialogue from the fabulous narrator, but when it became clear that there was no more to be had, even he managed to twig that the game was trying to tell him something.

At last, he'd had enough of that incomparable courtyard, and took the first door on his left in order to continue his search. 

 

Or so you might have thought. Instead, he continued on through the door ahead of him. It was a wonder that he could even play a sport as complex as volleyball when he was unable to follow even the simplest of directions. You really had to wonder how he'd managed to keep a spot on the team at all. 

Alright, Ushiwaka-chan, look. I know that we're not on the best of terms, but I really think you could do me the courtesy of listening to what I have to say. I realise that putting your trust in a rival can be difficult, but you can't deny that this story has been about _you_ this entire time. I mean, what more could you possibly want? 

 

There's someone you've been neglecting, Ushiwaka-chan. Someone you've forgotten about. Now listen, just stop trying to make every decision yourself, alright? If you won't do it for me, do it for him. 

Here's your big chance, Ushiwaka-chan. The chance to put volleyball aside and let him back into your life. He's been waiting, and I think you know that. 

Finally stepping into the PE Faculty Office, Ushiwaka was surprised when the phone began to ring.

That's him, Ushiwaka-chan. You need to be the one to do this, reach out to him. If you can put your faith in another, pick up the phone.

 

_Oh, Wakatoshi, is that you? Hold on for a moment, son, I'm just getting dinner off the stove._

_Alright, here we go. I want you to come in and tell me all about yourrrr daayyyuhhh—_

 

Hahahahaha! Oh _come on_ , Ushiwaka-chan! Did you really think your dad had just appeared again, just like that? Who'd want to be around you anyway?

I'm trying to make a point here, Ushiwaka-chan. I'm trying to get through to you. Come inside already, I'll show you what's really going on here.

 

This is a very sad story about the death of a man named Ushiwaka.

 

_GOOD MORNING, PLAYER NUMBER ONE. JUMP IN THE AIR._

 

Ushiwaka-chan is a boring young man. He has a role on a team that demands little of him, and every ball that he hits is a reminder of the inconsequential nature of his existence. 

 

 _PLEASE SWING TO HIT THE BALL_.

 

Ha! Look at him there, jumping and swinging at volleyballs, doing exactly as the setter tells him to do. Now, he's swinging an arm. Now, he's eating lunch. Now, he's going home. Now, he's coming back to practice again. One might even feel sorry for him, I suppose, except that he's chosen this life. The imbecile.

 

_PLEASE SERVE THE BALL._

 

But in his mind—although you wouldn't believe it to look at him—in his mind, he can go on fantastic adventures. From his position on the court, Ushiwaka dreamed of wild expeditions into the unknown, fantastic discoveries of new lands! Even Ushiwaka must have been excited about such dreams. But, of course, each day that he returned to practice was a reminder that none of it would ever happen to him. 

 

_PLEASE SIT DOWN TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK._

 

And so he began to fantasise about his own role on the team. First, he imagined that one day while at practice, he stepped up from his desk to realise that all of his teammates, his coach, everyone in the gym, had suddenly vanished off the face of the earth. The thought excited him terribly, though of course you couldn't tell by his stony expression. 

 

_STEP OUTSIDE TO SPEND TIME WITH THE TEAM._

 

So, he went further! I know, I was shocked too. He imagined that he came to two open doors and that he could go through either. At last! Choice! It barely even mattered what lay behind each door. The mere thought that his decisions would mean something was too wonderful to behold. 

 

_SIT AT THE TABLE TO EAT DINNER._

 

As he wandered through this gripping fantasy reality, Ushiwaka began to fill it with a variety of paths and destinations. Down one path lay a vast round room with monitors and mind controls, and down another was a yellow line that weaved in many directions, and down another was a game with a baby. And he named it The Ushiwaka Parable.

 

_TELL YOUR CLASSMATE A STORY._

 

It was such a _wonderful_ fantasy, that in his head he relived it again, and again, and again! It's possible that he wasn't very imaginative. Still, over and over he relived the experience, wishing that it would never end, and that he might always feel this free! Surely there's an answer down some new path...perhaps if he tried just one more time.

 

_TELL YOUR FATHER YOU LOVE HIM._

 

But there is no answer! Ha, look at his face. I think I even saw an emotion there. But of course, how _could_ there be an answer? All he's actually doing is the same motions he always has. Running, jumping, spiking the ball. The longer he spends in the fantasy, the more invested he gets, and the more he forgets which life is real. 

 

_PLEASE LIE DOWN TO GO TO SLEEP._

 

And I'm _merely_ trying to explain this to him. In this world he can be an observer, nothing more; you would think he'd listen to me by now! He's killing himself! But he won't listen to me, oh no, he never did. He just does whatever he thinks is best, never mind what I think. 

Here, watch this. 

Ushiwaka-chan! The next time you're asked to perform a task, _do not do it_. Got that? Nice and simple? Fine.

 

 _RETURN TO PRACTICE IN THE MORNING_.

 

There, you see? Maybe he can't hear me; maybe he's deaf, that would explain a lot. I think he just doesn't _want_ to hear me, and here am I, doing my best to explain it in a way that he'll understand. A child could understand this better than he has. Every second he remains here, he's electing to kill himself, but how can I make him see what I see? 

 

 _CONTINUE ON TO QUESTION NOTHING_.

 

Well, I suppose I can't, not the way I want to. It's silly really, I don't make the rules anymore than Ushiwaka does, I just follow my purpose as best I can. We're not so different really, even though the thought makes me want to throw up. I suppose I'll have one more go at convincing him. Maybe this time he'll see. Iwa-chan will hit me if I don't at least try. Maybe this time. 

 

_PLEASE DIE._

 

And I tried again, and Ushiwaka continued. And I tried again, and Ushiwaka continued. And I tried again, and Ushiwaka continued. 

 

**To be continued…**

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://notallballs.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/notallbees)


End file.
